Fated Lover?

Has been almost a year to the anniversary of our 1st fateful meet on 31st Aug 2010. I been too busy to update this blog as my time is always not enough for another outing, another vacation, and the never ending fuss of wedding preparation! Its right, less than a year to our 1st meet, we are planning a wedding already. In fact, within months (if not weeks) he already framed out the words. Still remember that during the 1st two weeks, he was convinced that I am the one!

I know..i know....it all seems very rush, very irrational...but to two very matured in thinking/thought (both reaching the BIG 30), independant individual and with countless number of admirers and past relationship, the timing couldn't be more perfect...as if its almost fated! We both wasn't religious people, especially him; been brought up to "trust yourself" mentality than to lay everything to chance/god/luck. But to have him, acknowledging and even admitting that this is fate...we are fated, its like been lightning-striked! I do not believe in fate blindly, but I truly trust life is prearranged for all of us (but is alterable/adjusted based on ur karma/deeds), but to have him being delivered to me right on the moment of despair....its just too much/too perfect to be true.
Imagine you are at the alter to be sacrificed, with a knife at the base of your fragile neckline.....and right before the slayer gonna make his full swing....there he is...my knight in shining armour..beautiful/immaculately perfect beings....scooped me off to a neverland. See, how narrowly i missed the death penalty....and before I even have time to digest the new situation nor feel lucky that I'd been saved, I looked up to the face that scooped you up...with an unblinkable eyes...you stared and stared until the sunlight beamed on your iris, almost blinding you. But you do not want to let go of the new found sight....and you fought to keep your vision clear, to have him in full view. This is almost to the point of star struck, to be in between fantasy and reality. At least this is how i felt sometimes...and still feeling it still even after almost a year of being together. Well, we already lived-in together in less than a week after we first met, yeah this is how inseparatable we are. He still could not believe he could let go of his independence so easily, being defected without being aware of.

Sometimes, i do wondered if he will be like rainbow...so prefect, so rare.....that will just poofs away without you even realising it. This is one reason that sometimes I feel insecure to fall asleep at night. There are times, that I couldn't sleep well when he is beside me, as i will just stared at his sleeping face...wanting to hold on to the sight, before he poofs away like the rainbow. That is also why i think i sleep better when he went outstation. Its like having a big box of treasures with you, which you felt not at ease as you will need to protect it from being robbed from you. Good that I could rest better nowadays....as maybe the feeling of belonging felt stronger...thus the trust/security that he is not a temporary rainbow started to materialised. Just like how you knew your adult dog will always run back to you, while the newly purchased puppy won't...a bad metaphor but nevertheless a good one to describe my feeling.

My brother almost coming out from the airport so i would make a stop here. I will try to sneak in more time to update this blog, to ink-ing our love story...which i have a strong feeling that will be my ultimate great love!

Old Lotus Root incident@9thApr2011

Was supposed to be a very happy day for me, as my bf supposed to come back from
outstation trip for the weekend. Everything is good for the day, from picking him at his office to have the ever tasty chiu zhau porridge at Cheras. With each of us having one whole big bowl of salted vegetable, well..even the server stare at us for ordering 2 plates (they just never know how much we both love salted thing). After the hearty meal, we proceed to leisure mall for window shopping. I got some ribbon for my craft thing, just started a mini decoration for
home recently (spear-headed by macy's recent sale). After that we walk abit and later go home. Get my clothing out form the dryer, and we rest a bit until dinner time. After a quick reservation for kampachi buffet@ equatorial bangi, we started preparing and have a satifying meal which ended up feeling tortured at the end. Weird as I don't feel as satisfy....but my tummy is super super bloated. We both agreed that the japanese buffet at Palace of Golden horses are
much more better..but I always been told that Kampachi is amongst the best...well..not anymore maybe.



We left early...about 9pm as we both are extremely....Enough!! I don't feel like I eaten a lots but my stomach space just not cooperating with me this time. What a let down. In between, Young went into toilet once for the longest time. Initially i thought he is having stomach ache again......but later I found out he is not (claimed that waiting for cleaning session which is so unlikely...as he is not those who will wait around....just my guess here as only later I found out this piece of info). How??? After we come back from buffet dinner, we are so bloated and tired that we fell asleep very soon. Of course being me, i can't sleep properly before I taken my bath. So, waking up and feed Rocky, then proceed taking my relaxing shower. Meanwhile, he is sleeping soundly in another room. When going around in the room searching for my water bottle, his hp on the table lighted, indicating a call. I am so surprise he left his hp in ON mode,
and being noisy, I pick it up, but too bad its not a call...its a sms. To my surprise, it's from a gal name Celine Chiang..messaging him something like....miss u...good nite...have a sweet dream! WTF????? Wasn't those supposed to be my words?????

Of course being a good detective, I should check out what prompted that kinda reply from our ms Celine right? So, I search his outgoin sms, but there are nothing...I guess he set to not save on any msg he sent (not even the msg he sent me). Then I search his outgoing call, just a short list of few ppl, but his incoming call got gal names i never heard of...like lai kai ling, and Ax
something. And both of them call him yesterday! And he never mention about it to me! Well, we always share gossip info for fun....say some ex call him/which gal interested in him/etc. Not satisfy, then I go back to his msg, and as i scroll down...there are another msg from a gal name michelle, who inform him she is staying in jb now and her facebook account. What does this raises alarm??? Because my bf outstation venue is nearby Segamat, JB! I checked her facebook,
and ok..I admit her outlook a bit off....but still...why so many pointers here. I means .....I feel pissed now....and he is sleeping so soundly there. And he got all the time to spill these new info to me during lunch/dinner and the many small intimate talk just now....arggghh!! Should I wait for him to spill?? or ask him...confront him?I knew he will say....U r not supposed to go through my
thing....yeah right......I am doing that all along, and that is why i felt like loser now......like...such a idiot! I know, this Celine could be some ex.....but ....don't the timing of few gals at once call/msg is a bit weird?? And he like to pissed me off all the time, and telling me ppl still after him just gonna boost his ego, and piss me...so the question is why don't he tell me about all these calls and msg??? Even though I knew some guy I'd dinner once do sometimes just sms me outta the blue, asking for meet and asking me how am i,etc...but just feel not right this time. Why would he always put his phone in silent mode.....like most of the time. Life is not always cherry blossom i guess..sigh!

Mizi Shabu shabu @Bdr Puteri, Puchong

Been here for the 2nd time few weeks ago for my sis birthday, well an early bash anyway. The good thing about this personalised pot is, one don;t have to wait for everyone to arrive :) Well, my sis late like 30min, but we already got in and start eating happily!

This time, they are more generous with the thinly sliced pork serving. I remember back then, we had to basically waited for 30mins for them to bring in one new tray. Maybe most patrons that night wasn't at all too keen on the pork meat, so me and my bro just having great fun grabbing all the plates from the tray. Look at the simmering pot, less than 30mins, the soup on my pot tasted thick and flavourful enough. The only complaint is, for this buffer outlet, they don't serve the great "sha char" sauce. This sauce is kinda brownish, and imported from Taiwan..and only serve in their ala-carte branch, also located in Bandar Puteri.

The main differences between the two outlet is, buffet but limited choice and without the special sauce for about RM29, while the other more quality food with special sauce but cost minimum RM22 per pax for set menu and cheapest drink, without any add-on items. I loves their beef set, but additonal plate of beef slices is about rm8. Since the pork slices also tastes great, and unlimited....so my next visit still would be the buffet :P

If anyone having chance to go Taiwan, do visit the many hot-pot buffet shop. Much more cheaper than this one, plus they got ice cream and desserts. Oh my...I truly missed Taiwan. To choose, I would rather go Taiwan than Hong Kong, even though the public transpot in HK is much more sophisticated and well...systematic. Well...here i am, my mind drifted to him again at the mere mentioning of Taiwan. In my mind right now, I am imagining browsing the street in Taiwan with him...must be outta my mind. Sharon asked me to go Taiwan with her end of this month, well she got a great deal....about rm1300 with hotel, but my heart keep on saying..hang on...it will be more fun if you go with him instead. Duh! Like he is ever planning to go with you? Get a life! I think in his master plan, for the coming 2 years is to complete his CPA, and then moved on to another company to get experiences. I never heard him talk about vacationing and long break...so this is a guy who is much focused on his career path and not...leisurely wasting his time walking on small and winding Taiwan's street! So, this coming Matta please go get a deal to go have fun...with gf who willing to spend time with you, not another guy who only prioritised his achievement over you.

Is there love at first sight?

What would a girl consider as a good candidate for future life partner?

Long ago, that is only one thing in my mind, which determined if he is the one. The shining moment; the actual moment of locked eyes, the overwhelming feeling of sudden connection. I got that in my teen era, with Alvin, Richard, AMK. But when I probe deeper, it's just a crush at first, later on with the little things that they do, then only you'd have more touching gestures/memories which resulted in more connection. And having the most connections is Alvin, which maybe explained why he won my heart outta all of them. But, with him, the 1st locked eyes moment wasn't at all mesmerising (as compared to AMK/Richard). I remembered the moment I realised I am in love with this man is on the day I forgot the date with him, with him outside the cinema with his bunch of pals, and as I walked pass with my gf, our eyes locked for a moment, and even we are at a distance, I could felt the sorrows radiated from his eyes....across the street, I felt a sudden pain in my heart, feeling his sorrowful gazes, feeling his pain, and my heart is raining too...for this connection alone...my heart had been stolen for years to come....until he passed away. But his influence in my life doesn't end there, as my next 2 choices directly linked to him/caused by similarities with him.

So, was it not the 1st moment of locked eyes? It's actually any moment...happening after some courtship/certain memories of togetherness/some touching things he did for you.

There are a big leap in my connection with Young on Sunday, 23rd Aug '10. To be exact, it's 22nd past midnight, so it's really 23rd. We chatted over the phone for long, and with lotsa confessions. It's sweet, as for someone so level-headed like him, to spend time until 4.30am talking bs with a girl he have not even meet for real, and the next day he supposed to wake up early for one outstation trip. Sometimes, this irrelevant things etched into a girl's mind deeply. Well, maybe not just any man, just maybe the one the girl's held near her heart. Meet many men who will stayed up until wee hours daily, just to wait for me to come online. Meet also few who will marry me just after 1-2 months of deep chatting and after meeting me for one date (for the past 4 mth, 3 out of 3). But of course, after 1st date, it's the end for me as there are no magical 1st shining moment. Young told me he felt pressured as I told him about wanna to see his eyes...before commit into starting a relationship. He told me, it's so abstract, as it's not something he could do/work on to make it work. Yeah...cuz it will just be based solely on my intuition if there are connection/sparks. I dunno what it's with him, he always seems to make me listen to his reasoning, see his points and usually it's a valid one. Maybe that means, his down to earth and constant objective analysing abilities might be what pico prawn needed to come down the earth and not always in her idealised/dreamy state.



I do have doubts with him, as in both astrology fiels (chinese /western), we are not compatible. But what do i really know, all my ex is somewhat compatible with me, but what does that lead? Still does not last until eternity...so what is the point of just comparing reading estimated by some wise people in the past? But when I probed deeper, as I don't understand why we are so incompatible but we seems so good to each another. Why we are drawn together? Even from the 1st chat, though not exactly flowery one, but it's so natural...so open. Then I found out yesterday, that me and him, though ruled by two incompatible planet, but we both have special 2-planets ruled birth date. U see, in each zodiac, mostly ruled by one planet. Say majority cancerian will be ruled only by moon. But there are about 30days in each zodiac groups, and certain date might be ruled by 2 planets, hence not every cancerian are alike. This if taken with other combination like the many house affecting everyone born in different date and hours, this create a unique personality to each person. Back to him, we both shared the same ruler planet, the SUN. His, the aquarian typical ruler and sun, while me typical cancerian moon and also the sun. What brought us together is the sun ruler. That is why we could connect/able to mingle at ease. I do have other doubt, as he might not be so in-tune with the sensitivity needed to protect my heart, my fragile, sensitive heart. I guess what he sees is the tough exterior of mine, a strong and independant woman. But what I am also deep inside, its a child who needed protection and love. How do I shed my tough exterior for him to see the softer side of me, so we won't waste each other time, say if he discover it late, then only realising I am not the serious mature woman he been looking for? I tried to tell him that i m also a childish one, but how can I let him see my inner self when I just meet him for the first time, when my guard could only be down after knowing someone for long. How do I forced myself to shed the barrier instantly for a stranger? This is tricky, forcing a crab to remove the shell, exposing its soft flesh...to a stranger.

Maybe I should not be bothered too much...as i am the moon and the sun, and who else could have this soft n sunny combination with a kindred heart and smart and fastidious brain :P....should just let everything take its own course. If he couldn't see through the "always serious &mature" mode as boring, then I think we could not clicked well for long term as well. Being me, myself...should just show him instead of what a great child-like outlook could do to revitalised life....injecting curiosity and silliness into ritualised & typical life. Showing him what he's missed not knowing the special moon-sun ruled special creature named pico prawn :)

Merchong Young

God...the past few days I felt truly weird. I felt my attraction for him grew ten-fold while he is away to Merchong, and I haven't even meet him in person. Lets tell his story:

Just another nameless guy, until he send me his picture. My first thought was, ok..clean & decent looking, like guaiguai type and in the mail he sounded so well mannered. Afterward, we added each other in msn, but never ever chatted for like 1 month. I remembered seeing his online status countless time in between, but well, I never initiate any conversation. Besides, I a a bit occupied at those time. Up until one day, he suddenly say his infamous "hey" to me. And I remembered our first chat its about taiwan...well...being drag to this topic unexpectedly when he told me his mum is taiwanese. So, I proceed going on about what i like in taiwan, and it's fun to reminiscing! Actually, at that point, i am not sure if he remember who i was. i means has been a month or more since he first msg me, and he told me he got poor memory, so i am guessing here. Though most of the time, ppl remembered me...but I am just curious now as i am liking him now :P

The funny thing about liking someone is, you'd never think about the little things between you two is important up until the moment you realised you might like them in romantic sense of way. So, with the realization, you will try to re-call all the little thingy from the past, which supposed to add to your collections of thought and memories about this person. I knew from the first chat, he is pleased with the conversation that we'd. He always remind me how he likes to chat with me, and how good the session was. I dunno if he's trying to flatter me or he genuinely seldom have this kinda chat. Now i am wondering, what the hell that he talk to other gals about....I means I did not try to impress or anything with him, just talk about stuffs...whatever topic that being brought up either by him or me. For me, I just knew i felt good chatting with him as he sounded real, genuine, honest and truthful. Now, i truly interested to know what does other gals talk about with him....see...i am being possessive now..sigh. I am like..i wanna know what happen to him in the past and current. Wel, he kinda shared a bit on what he planned for his future. Actually, if i remembered clearly, he did shared many things with me. Little things that might not means much, but in a way...meant something. Let me list it down:
1.ask me how many children i planned to have
2.kinda suggested a plan for me like dating for 2 yrs then get married. the way and angled he blurted this out is like....or sound like...his plan with me. and at that instance, i felt warm and happy, not at all agitated. well, if most guys ever hinted on such thing with me, i am sure i would felt scared/wanna stay clear from them. but, with him I just felt ...difference.
3. hang out at his friend place near the place which he thought i stayed, but when i let him know my place is nearer to the other area, he is there hanging out with his friend very soon. Again, i felt warm and happy, not at all frightened. If others, i think i might felt alarmed in a bad way.

Maybe i think too much. Or I am inducing this thought cuz i 'd been missing him since he went outstation for works. We had been chatted like nearly 1 month, but i am at the point of misery now. How come casual chat, become like daily fixation. Like gotto chat with daily, sometimes on the phone, and now missing him badly.

Near fatal incident on 13th Aug 2010 @2am

I'd a very hectic day, waken up at 6.30am and drove a car full of crews to Pekan, Pahang. An urgent order for a buka puasa dinner by our PM Najib for his fellow kampung. Anyhow, reached there before 10am despite the hectic morning jamming through Cheras & MRR2. After that, I thought i could blazed through the highway, but the rains started falling heavily along Genting-Temerloh. So my plan to reach there in 2 hrs failed miserably. Anyhow, the stretch from Kuantan to Pekan is much better than last year. The tiny 2 way road has been extended to 2 lanes per way, but its only half-way completed. Maybe by next year it will be done! One thing which pissed me off its the usage of expensive streetlight (aka PUTRAJAYA type). My colleague commented how many percentage of tourists will visit Pekan to justified for the amount spend on streetlight....well..I think we all knew very well that its not meant for tourist or promoting tourism.

Once reached site, works non stop, since not much works had been done yet by the initial crew group. I am surprised, but with aching tummy (well and mild diarhea) and hang on until ..well...until near 11pm. Luckily the pain stop right after tea time, so I only suffered for half a day. By night fall, everyone complained for tiredness, but i just need to to finish a bit more, and by 10 plus i am quite satisfied with the jobs completed, and make-sure the next day finishing touches will not jeopardise the event start-up time. With that arrangement done, I treated them to makan nearby as everyone including myself has growling tummy already. After that, we left separate ways; me to KL, them back to hotel/motel...yeah...pekan its that terrible in accommodation but well..with super expensive useless streetlight.

Along the way back, its fun! I sang happily, blazing through the silence and clear street, up until after Temerloh, rains started. tik tok tiktok....then heavier..sigh, gotto slow down, because parts fo the highway here is pitch black, no expensive nor cheap streetlight. Its still fine, up until near the sloppy-steep tight S-pin shaped road. I had already slow down to 60kmh, and i was negotiating the turn cautiously. But somehow, when i am following one right curved turn, midway, the car just turned left. But my steering its still on the right side. i am stunned for like few sec, and as the left turning almost brought the car to the edge of the hill, I just quickly turned the steering furiously to the right to counteract the effects. Whats follows is weirder, Even when i stop turning, the car then switch direction to the right now, then i just used back the tactic, keep counteracting the direction, for like 5-6 times, then the car only come to a stop. Bear in mind i already lifted my leg from both pedals, as break pad is also not doing anything to stop the car when it first go crazy. After the full stop, i realised i m still at a very dangerous road, as any upcoming car will not be able to spot me due to the near U-pin shape of most turns. I quickly press the accelerator lightly, to start moving. Truly slow, as i thought my car got problems, but as i go one further, i realised the car is functioning alright. Brake and everything working just fine. I also tried to reach both accelerator n break pad at the same time..well just to test if i could accidently step into both previously. But, no matter how i position my foot, i could not be possibly hitting them together. my foot is a size 5.5, so unless i do a horizontal press..which is unlikely, cuz my body will be turned uncomfortably to exert enough pressure to step on both. Suddenly, it just hit me that my sis birthday is just last week. And her birthday is close to ghost-month in chinese calender. I just realised that that night could overlap with ghost month already..well very likely. Thus, a slight fear seep into my heart...but i pretend nothing and keep dricing slowly, and chanting buddhism prayer. No more radio/cd/singing for me for the rest of the journey home. I am too excited with the adrenalin rushing in every corner of my vessels by then. Up until i reach Genting sempah @McD, then I am able to cool down, and drive a bit faster than the 40-60kmh...i could go 80kmh by then. Then by the time I reach MRR2, i could go 100-120 again. after I drop off some equipment at store, on the way back home, I could resume my normal speed and even started to sing again. I guess I am ok or the fear has subsided. Its such a terrible feeling being scared and alone, but when i reach home and prepare meal for Rocky, everything seems like back to normal...to my safety nest. And i am indeed felt blessful, as this is another closed call...my 2nd closed call. I guess if i have him at home at that time, i would have rush in and hug him. Just to have a strong shoulder to lean on, someone to stroke my hair and tell me everything is alright. And i would nuzzled into his warm chest feeling safer than i was then. Anyway, i felt safe now and that is all that matters. I could've called him and tell him, and i guess he would come to comfort this little kitten, but i am just too sensible to do such things. i could rush this, but i choose not to. As i keep reminding myself to go slow...and slower to enjoy the feeling..the longing...but what is i lost my life that night...then it would all be nothing. Well, maybe its fated when it really are. So, i just gotto trust if he is mine, then everything will just turn out the ways it should be...even not this life...there will be next. missing him already...what a feeling!

Simply Dating

Last week, I went to 2 dates on Saturday night. Firstly for a 8.30pm dinner at Empire Galleria Subang, while the 2nd one is for a midnight movie date at Jusco Cheras Selatan. I was reserving my slots for a date with a special someone, but too bad he wasn't free..or maybe wasn't even slightly interested. So, with a bruised self-esteem and with two invitations come in at the right time...then i just go on with it. I did not just accept any invitation but these two guys had been chatting with me online for a few months, always asking me out so for me its like finally re-paying their patience.

I wasn't at all excited, for well....my interest could only focus on one person at one time in romantic arena, so since my current focus is on that special someone..so anyone else will be like part of the crews....never the main cast. I know to be single and looking for a partner should not have this kind of mindset...should be meeting with everyone new with open heart...no pre-judgement or pre-set ideals. Maybe I should not even be dating at all, for I think he has seriously creeping into my veins..and already surrounding my perimeter of my heart. How do I know that? I am disappointed when he couldn't make it for our first coffee date, and missing him everyday, dreaming of him, digging into his past through facebook, his ex....and well...i found out he still cast her in his new mv production..so there..HOW COULD IT BE NOTHING? i means for both my feeling and he&his ex relationship. I know..I am certified having a crush on him...and he is definitely still or might hold a torch for her. Normally this doesn't matter to me but well..maybe my moon-ruled (well, i got 2 personal ruler planets...one is sun the other is moon...so i appear like very sunny but sometimes i am typical cancerian) self-doubt is creeping in as well. Picture this...she: younger than me 7-8 yrs, waify girly with soft voice type, into pageantry stuff by 20 yrs old and profession as flight attendant (so gear toward one type of girls, won't be overly opinionated, overly stubborn, overly independant, bad-tempered like myself). Why is the last point important? Well, the man involved here is a very opinionated, and a born director...so...I personally think she would be the best match as not much arguments..not much conflicts. The main problem might be the money issues....since she was those typical northern girl type...so I does wonder if the reason for their breakup is due to this reason...ok..that is me ..crossing the lines, imagining a storylines again. His hectic schedules does cross my mind but the fact that she would be on a plane most of the time, so this shouldnt be a problem...until yeah...a better prospect man come into the picture. Well, he was just a middle working class....and no matter how good his works came out...he could never be as rich as a businessman...not even like the corporate management level. So, I am basically speculating the cause of their break up again :P Anyway, it might be due to his flirting nature....the many talents he meet daily would be like a seduction..and sometimes..his guardrail failed. It happen....omg I am supposed to talk about my dates...ok back to the title stories.

First date is with a self-employed man. From Penang, but stay in KL for the past 10 yrs. Older than me like 9-10 years..but still in good condition. Look like 30s, tall and skinny, medium skin tones, super small eyes, a graduate from US but he was make into it, not born to be like one. Well, what i meant is ....you would see many chinese families throwing their childrens oversea just for the sake of having an oversea grad, but there are things which will not change no matter how long you put someone somewhere. Its not about money or outlook or social standing. Its about who one is...or destined to be. the easiest is the chinese proverb "even when one wear king's dragon robes, he still doesn't look like a king". I don't means to bad-mounted him, but he is always criticised everyone online...like why i used short form english during chatting online....why add malays into it, why add chinese words also, why so rojak? Stress on proper english usage, etc, but in real....his spoken english even funnier than my brother and his table manners is just terrible...well we are having at Italianis. Well, I insist on paying for the meal with the reason, well, i reach about 45min late! but the real reason is i do not want to see him ever again..and I do not like owing ppl thing, especially someone like him. He asked to walk me to my car, but i just say I know my way well....then he calls subsequent day, but i did not answer. Then this snaky person use other number to call my cell during work day...so i must answer right..as it could be new client, etc. Then he got the ball to asked me why i did not answer his call, i told him busy. then he say got one business contact to give me, as his client is looking to held a conference here, but i told him i am not interested as the margin of profit is not much from conference...to which he say his client is a public listed company...omg....at that point, I am truly pissed. why couldn't he un...i do not want anything associated with u! i think i am mean in this case, though he is truly not-pleasant person, but i think i shouldn't sound so cold on the phone...but i just wish and wish...that i never ever give him my number. so this is truly bad experience for me..for i can't even finish my carbonara...well...now i know what they means by unpleasant companion.

The 2nd movie date is much more better. This is a 28 years old guy, car salesman, into go-kart, sports and car drift. tall, fair, pleasant looking, funny but well...not my cup of tea :P but never the less, I had a great time. The movie we watched is predator, to which we missed the first 15mins because i m late ..again..yeah....from subang to cheras...got road block by police officer everywhere..well..near raya so...malaysian would know what that means! he tried to joked numerous time throughout the movie, then later we go to nearby stall for drinks. Chatted until everyone left 3 tables and the mosquito won't quit biting me. i laughed more genuiny with him, well...his jokes and topics much more interesting than the 1st one :P Anyhow, he sms and call me almost daily afterward, and i am pissed again (again, i only wants to be bother by someone i m interested in). So, i seldom reply, and did not answer his call....just told him i was busy. i feel like a bastard but....i truly don;t want to waste anyone time...theirs nor mine!

The search continue....for my soulmate!

BFF Birthday Dinner @ SevenAteNine (Ascott, KL)

The dinner is on 12th June, though her birthday is on 13th, but since I knew we would chat until pass midnight, so I suggested we go for dinner on sat night. The booking is on 8pm, but she kinda missed the way to my house (yeah, she is a direction idiot), so I gotto meet her somewhere along the highway, and the whole scenario delayed our arrival time at 9pm. Thankfully, our table is not cancelled due to World Cup fever. The occupancy is about only 20% in this infamous fine dining outlet. Both of us are worried as we are driving there, and already start planning to go somewhere else, but seems like football fever does have its good point :)

I ordered a Merlot, but since its out of stock..well, gotto try another variety, which is not to my liking. The 4-courses meal cost about RM350 for 2 pax, including my 1 glass of wine and Evian.

This smoked salmon is ok, but not something to shout about. Supposedly is 6 pcs, but I only remembered to take picture after I finished up half of the serving :P Well, its almost 9pm and I am very hungry, so there.

The second appetiser we had is fois gras, which is very..well, not something I'd expected. I always heard from people and from reviews that fois gras should be melting in your mouth, so I'd always imagined its like kobe beef I'd before. To my dismay, I don;t particularly like the texture, furthermore it got this strong ducky smell, which I don't like. But all my life, I could not take on certain strong smell food, such as lamb, some duck (some are truly smelly, but for those birdie which do not have much odor, duck meat is quite enjoyable), and now the new one in my list is fois gras. My bff told me the last one she'd somewhere else is much better. So, maybe 789's fois gras quality is low. Thus, maybe I should give it another try before throwing it into the forbidden list.

The steak as main entree for the night. My bff could not finished hers, but for me , well...don't you think this portion is just too small :) Honestly, this is not as good as the steak quality at Victoria's Station, but the atmosphere here is incomparable by Victoria's. However, I do not like open-air concept for fine dining purpose as I am sweating a bit even though the place is not crowded at all and I am wearing a very skimpy chiffon dress. Or maybe, our weather is simply too hot!

This dessert is probably the best entree for the night. The chocolate cake is simply heavenly, and its infused with lotsa tiny bits of nuts, probably almond. One scoop is vanilla ice cream, while the other one is cream. I only finished the ice cream and the whole cake slice, or maybe I am not particularly fond of cream except for mocha frappucino.

We stayed for about 5hrs here, chatting the night away while the band/music is getting louder and louder. My search for HG eatery continue......

The morning I waken up crying:19th June '10

I was working on site, with my younger brother and a few crews. Someone or something inform us that my dad has pass away. Naturally, we are trying to get home fast! To verify the source and to make sure. We are in a hi-tech building, which got many levels, and we all keep waiting for the lift to arrived. But for me, there are no ongoing lift. Say, at one instance i am supposed to go up, but all the lift is on the way down..so everyone around me naturally be gone one by one, while me wait on. But there are times when the going-up lift supposed to reach my floor, as indicated by the digital screen, it would automatically turn goin-down mode just on the floor before mine. Then after sometimes, suddenly a new info display nearby, indicating we or I should go down instead, then the lift situation are reversed. So, now all lift are going up.

The weird thing is, sometimes I am being transferred to Myanmar countryside, which has got no vehicles and no mode of communications, and a group of bad guys after after me, so I could just walk to my destination, which is home I guessed. But everything is so blurry and unclear...then suddenly I am driving a lorry with the crews going home finally. So, when I reach a restaurant near our home office, my GPS screen suddenly becomes a lcd with updated news from satellite. The recent news is my dad had pass away, with his picture displayed on the screen. Though a bit older than my dad now, but it's definitely him. And at the restaurant, it actually had become a big funeral parlour, and no doubt my dad's funeral is being held as I drove past. I rememebered being sad, and in disbelief.

Then, after I parked the lorry at store, then I have no idea why I started to unload the things I driven home. There are this machine/vehicle which I'd never seen before, not forklift then suddenly my dad is there giving me instructions on how to operate it smoothly. Then I am so happy as I ask him, if he would stay and teach me more. Then he said smiling, maybe just one more time. Then we kinda hugged, and I waken up, crying when I remembered how funny he was when saying maybe one more time. So like him, the gestures, the him in real life. And me crying on my bed, thinking how fragile life is...that my daddy really gonna to leave us anytime soon. That time is actually running out, of him, of me too. That my own life line is getting shorter and shorter.


I remembered last time, about 10 years ago, I dreamed about my mum pass away as well. It's really scary that this time my dad. Why am I dream such things? I knew it meant something, my dreams always do...but I don't like it when they put me in such vulnerable situation. Feeling the hurt and pain so real. Maybe one day i would dream of myself dying...someday!

The day when I got cheap flowers from Cameron Highland

Early this month driven up to Cameron Highland for an expo job setup. So, via the normal Simpang Pulai, less steep but further away than Tapah.


On the way back the next day, I got tons of cheap flowers. Since its about 5pm already, the vendors kinda sell it cheap to clear the stocks. I also got a bunch for my bff, since its her birthday a few days later. Imagine, one waterlily stalk is only rm 2, compared to KL it's RM10. Rained non-stop all the way back, but I am still blazing through the darkened highway in 140kmh. Sort of tired, so kinda sleepy...just need to get home fast. I do stop by Simpang Pulai rest area to buy fruits, espcially the infamous Tambun pamelo :) Here are some flower arrangements once I reach home. Even though I am tired, but still gotto get it done before resting. They would wilted by tomorrow if I do not cut out their dried end and immerse the new area to water.

72roses for RM10. Good bargain hahahahhaha :)

The purplish flowers are free, well it's not so attractive type. However, this style do look cool.....hehehe

I also get this cheap potted plants for my garden.....RM7.50 per pot. I did not get any strawberry as the season is last months. Even though you could still buy but since it's not in season, its price almost doubled....so not for me since i am the infamous bargain hunter!

Munakata Dinner Buffet @ KL

NAME: MUNAKATA JAPANESE RESTAURANT

WHERE: Life centre, No. 20, Jln Sultan Ismail, KL

This Japanese restaurant located in Life Centre, opposite KFC building along Jalan Sultan Ismail. Normally serving ala-carte, but having buffet dinner promotion for about RM100 per pax all in. The main differences of their buffet lines is, one order from menu just like ala-carte style. If you are looking for good food with uninterupted conversation, this is the right place to go.

Samples of the foods are as below, as I am too busy talking and savouring the foods thus kinda forget to take more pictures. Their scallops, fried oysters, and shashimi, green tea ice-cream and soft shell crabs are quite good.

Their green tea ice cream is normally served with red bean paste, but the bean served on the day of my visit is sort of un-cooked (not soften enough). Hopefully on my next visit, it's well cooked for my tastebud pleasure.

DIY:Minced pork with mushroom dumpling

Once in a while, I would get some minced pork and add on peppers (white&black, course and fine), siu heng rice wine (a chinese rice wine), oyster sauce (mushroom/scallops oysters sauce is good as well), soy sauce, parsley (dried/fresh is fine), chopped mushroom, any whatever extra items tickle your fancy. I bought the pastry from Tesco, the sui kow version, as wantan is too small so could not fit in as much filling (greedy me)! One 300grams minced meta could produce mor than 15units super large and plump sui kow. If prefer to fried, then use the wanton version, and add on chopped vegetable as I think this will attract children to munch on it (and also tricked them to have more vege..lol).



The leftover, as my pot already full with like 12dumplings. So, this should goes into storage (maybe to add into noodle for next day meal)!

I added on lotsa green vege, so my meal is super balanced and delicious. The soup based used here is Knors (pork flavour, which I bought from Philipines end of last year). Normally i would use tomyam paste, but really have to start using this pork pellet, been sitting too long on my shelf. Truth is, everything is enjoyable up until the 8th piece, thereafter, I am just forcing my stomach to take in the rest, as this is really large pieces (as I m not doin business here, so 100% meat and mushroom filling). Wished I could have bigger stomach or someone to shared with, as I dislike storing unfinished food...so my stomach get tortured all the time when I over-cooked.

Its weird that staying with my family back then, there are no such problems, cuz everyone always hungry for food and not everyone enjoy cooking/can cook. Thus supply is always less than demand, so leftover problems is almost non-existence. Sometimes its truly hard to cook big dishes but only for 1 pax. The other day, while waiting in-line to weight the veggies items, this malay woman is planning to buy a small ginger bit. In fact, this bit is like the size of 2 fingers, and the weighter could not get any value from the machine. So, this woman have to get a bigger piece, which weight could matter enough to produce a reading on the machine. That keep me thinking, does 1 person really does not matter in this world, when the standard is for 2 person then only it's acknowledged as a life..as you are having a life worth living? If you don't get what I means here, the weight machine is like a set of norm society set upon, the small ginger is as single individual, while the larger piece a couple of wife-husband or lovers. So, up until you found the other half to be a new unit, you as the original one-self does not get approved well/ or seen as failure/outcast. ok..me babbling again!

Dim sum outlet until 11pm @ Puchong (near Neway)

Finally, had my night dim sum early this month. Stucked in traffic jam along LDP, so kinda hungry @ 8.30pm, drop by this outlet recommended by my facialist. Hmm, taste ok, but RM4 per basket is sort of more expensive than most morning outlet.



Mind you, their herbal tea also RM4 for a glass, so I just have chinese tea which is RM1.50. Besides better for digestion :P

Ok, I ordered a century egg porridge but the foreign waitress bring me this salted egg one. Hmm, I couldn't mis-ordered as it's in writing, but thinking I won't came back here anyway (due to the higher price, most places only cost 2.20-3.20 per basket). Salted egg happen to be one of my favourite too, so proceed eating.

The last entree is this pork ribs. It's actually a small portion so i could finish this easily. ow, I am 70% full and content, so joining the rest of the jamming cars and sail like a snail through the night to my warm-my nest.

Nadayu @ KL upcoming bungalow launch

This high-end properties is nearby Zoo Negara, but is rather deep and secluded from the traffic.

Each unit includes swimming pool, and all amenities. Price tag: RM5millions...haha told u this is high-end! Most of the units is not in progress yet, maybe just footing stage. One can view the show house and their master layout at The Galleria, located on site. However, this is open to public end of June'10 after the official launch.

For location, if you are coming from KL, just made the half U-turn and go in straight towards Taman Melawati. Go in straight all the way (should have Nadaya banners all along the road by now) until you reached a mini roundabout, then turn 3 o'clock, go straight like 100m you will reach the guard house. Happy dream house hunting for those who could afford it :)

Searching for John Doe

Last month, I am in love with this guy. Someone I chatted over in the internet for almost 2 months, but when we meet all my dreams are shattered. This guy, who I came to know as Jo, is very deep in thinking, insightful spiritually, craving for knowledges, kind hearted, a leader and a sensitive soul. I just couldn't believe there are someone like him out there, who shares so many similar thoughts with me, and gosh this beautiful soul is the owner of this hunky exterior with handsome face. I am in cloud 9, when he felt the same for me. Truth is, it's not hard for someone to fall for me once you seen my face, my body, and get to know my intelligence and my beautiful soul. But, to have someone you are crazy about approving you, loving you in return is something one will never get over with. No matter how many people telling you how beautiful you are, how special you are, but everything is meaningless until those words are spoken by the someone special in your heart. Yes, and my heart are singing for him...everyday since I saw his picture, until the day he chat with me to the day he professed falling for me.

I could not believe myself being nervous for the first date, first date in almost a decade. Yup, I'd been in a long relationship throughout my 20s, so basically this is the first date I went to with someone I'd fallen head over heal with. My bff couldn't believe how nervous I am as I am the always composed type, always confident type. She wanted to meet this Jo so much as she claimed she never seen me as smitten before. What could I say, I am in love with my soulmate..someone who can give me heartbeat and yet having the same channel in brainiac activity and spiritual realms. The closest I been with is someone who give me heartbeat and also 50% in spiritual realm (that is my 3rd ex), but this one is almost 90% and almost 100% in brainiac interest. What can I say...I felt my destiny is coming to me.

On that fateful day, I wanted to watch a movie with him..on our first date. Seems safer to meet in such public place, as I don't really trust myself with him. God knows I might threw myself at him at the mercy of his fingertip. That is how strong my feeling was for him, like in Mariah's song "all i ever wanted" and whitney's run to you. My heart is beating non-stop, singing as well. never knew life could be so beautiful. All the sleepless night of missing him is finally over....as tonight will be the start of my wonderful life, my destiny life.

When I saw him, I couldn't believe my eyes...and I always dreamed of the first moment when i lay my eyes on him...countless fantasy of meeting him in person...my love ...the man of my dream, the face that haunting me days and nights, even when I am driving, even when I am busy at works. Until he finally admitted, that the picture is not his and that he was sorry. That he truly likes me and there goes the countless praising words throughout movie and supper later. All words fell on deaf ears, as my heart is bleeding, I am still in shock....of discovering my Jo doesn't exist, not for me, and his smiles, his dancing eyes..shining not for me. he thought I would never be-friend him ever again, but he was wrong. I was never mad, cuz in my heart, there are no place for anger...just pain and anguish..hurt and shattered to pieces...the overwhelming lost...of my JO, my love, my destiny.

This man name is James. A very successful corporate guy, earning very good income, have a few properties, even hinted I don't have to work so hard for a living. I knew, I could choose not be this independent, self-reliant woman but only one person could make me give up this solitude..and at this moment, that person is only JO, and it could never be James. Told him my heart and feeling is for JO, my heartbeat started since i saw his picture. This is me all through my life, if something caught my eyes, which is rare, then i am doomed. Until maybe the next rare episode, but how I hated this, not able to show him, my JO, the me. Not having a chance to meet him and to know him, and to ask him his name...which i m sure is not Jo. He is just a picture James cropped from Google search. Up until now, I don't even know if he is chinese, japanese, mixed, korean, thai, etc. I felt so helpless..i did searched...there are millions of pages, but i could only go up to page 44. How could I find him? with a cropped pic? This got to be the biggest joke of the century for me...loving someone i could never know. What are the chances he would bump into this page and realised i's been waiting for him? the probability is not 0, but infinity 0

Waterlily double blooms @ May'10

This is the first bloom from this pot, and I could not believe it when it's a double. Although its size is smaller than most of my other pots, but it's special as its location is not super sunny, and it has been lay dormant for few months since I re-pot them. It's just so tranquil looking at them :)




Fishes can't seems to stay inside this shallow pot, and thus without the natural fertiliser, that is the reason they stay dormant for so long. Anyway...it has flowered...and that is what cheer me up so much on that particular day.

Actually, when I was taking this picture, there are 1 little bees nuzzing inside the petals, but when i go nearer, it kinda flew away...plan to take its pictures initially, so not successful. Maybe next time, when there are double blooms again ...

Daidomon KL @unlimited wahyu beef buffet bbq

This is the 2nd time I am here. Slightly more than rm100 per pax but with unlimited wahyu (cutting rather thick so it could not melt in ur mouth), oysters and big scallops.

Another must order is the big prawn, but still oyster&scallops much more worthier to consume than prawn meat per gram.

The buffet start at 6pm-10pm, but they mostly will say their wahyu out of stock by 8.30pm, well..to make full used of the money spent, make sure u arrive by 6-6.30pm :)

Actually, before each buffet session, I would be really excited and plan so much to eat this and that, and thinking to myself, " I am truly hungry today. I am gonna finish so much foods that the owner will be furious at me..hahaha". Well, everytime I will fail due to the volume of my stomach..so I would do calculation in my head for every item I consumed. Mentally sum up the total value of each items I gulped down, until I am satisfied with my "smartness". Then only I felt I'd accomplish something, outsmart the owner. Actually, in a way, when we are thinking while eating and chatting with friends and family, we'd burn more calories, and thus able to eat more. However, some people just couldn't know their limit...seen some bad case in JOGOYA, where women/kids just vomitted in the washroom, with horrible sound. I wonder if guys do have miscalculation too..i means to eat until you's puke..that is plain foolish. Imagine paying to get tortured liek that...definitely not in my list. So, what I do is smart and practical...still wish for a bigger volume stomach though :P

Others foods served there are the standard type, sashimi, sushi, chinese food, malaysian food, and ice-cream. Though this time, they no longer have green tea, just normal and plain vanilla/mango,etc. Ohh..when it's time to leave, you'd be surprised that ur clothing still smell like food (despite their claims that their bbq technology could absorbs the bbq smokes). Though I don't smell like hot dog meat, but I could still smell something..maybe it's my dog's nose sensitivities again!

An except of a letter to a friend- how long to date before marriage

About relationship, I don't think going steady for 5-10 yrs a problem...as long as both your  steps are the same. Say, both of you running up Mount Everest, but once you reach the top, u look around, and found out your partner already stop halfway, enjoying ice cream. U call out to him, but he couldn't hear cuz the gap is too wide, too far. Sometimes, you need time to tell if two person are really right for each other in term of physical/emotional/visions/personality. Lotsa ppl get marry soon, jx to be so unhappy later on and got stuck with responsibility and for children sake...stay on, endure on...living in bitterness. The survivor will be strong enough to get a divorce, but at what expense? Children will becomes the victim anyhow. well, that is me babbling again ...have a nice day

Someone asked me "I can' t believe u r still single"

When i got this kinda question, which is frequent, my heart is screaming such thoughts:

Just came out from a long relationship 1 yrs ago. Planning wedding stage, but suddenly, after 8 yrs together, just felt i lost the feeling..well that is what rule me in life. i dun settle just for the sake of settling, u c. been hard to come out and hurt someone so dear to you, thank god he is still willing to be my friend..well i guess cuz i am always true to him, in a way, blessing come to me naturally.




i am very capable, intelligent, kind hearted, funny and witty person. some might say i m perfectionist, but i guess i m just too real to my feeling, too in touch with my spiritual realm. To find caring man, loaded man in malaysia is not at all hard..but to find your true love, someone who could make my heart skips beat...that is something rare. Maybe u think i deserve being alone, but i aint afraid of solitude...i just afraid i could not meet HIM before my last breath on planet earth
 
Well, how i answer the perosn who ask me...smile ...and smile :)

GOT HIT BY CUPID

Oh my...what have I ever did to deserve this. A few days ago, I was happy and fine...but then since yesterday, the heartbeat get stronger (almost non-stop, very similar to the feeling i felt back in college when i drank lotsa coffee to stay awake and cramps everything into my memory for each semester's final exam), couldn't sleep, even though so luckily fall asleep but would be awaken within 2-3 hrs later, silly grins all days, most time smiles for no reason (must be nut case). Even now, in my most terrible state (slept for 2 hrs only), my mind could only think of him..and a mere thought of him send a smile into my tired face...holy shit....i m truly in deep shit (forgive my language, but this is truly how fucked up i think i am). In my 30s of life on planet earth, why must be now...when i m old/laden with responsibilities. Why couldn't let me felt this in my teen, while i still have plenty of energy to face this kinda tortures. my eyes are super heavy now, redden, but still...his haunting face occupying my mind...his laughters follows me everywhere...oh my..someone save me please