Has been almost a year to the anniversary of our 1st fateful meet on 31st Aug 2010. I been too busy to update this blog as my time is always not enough for another outing, another vacation, and the never ending fuss of wedding preparation! Its right, less than a year to our 1st meet, we are planning a wedding already. In fact, within months (if not weeks) he already framed out the words. Still remember that during the 1st two weeks, he was convinced that I am the one!
I know..i know....it all seems very rush, very irrational...but to two very matured in thinking/thought (both reaching the BIG 30), independant individual and with countless number of admirers and past relationship, the timing couldn't be more perfect...as if its almost fated! We both wasn't religious people, especially him; been brought up to "trust yourself" mentality than to lay everything to chance/god/luck. But to have him, acknowledging and even admitting that this is fate...we are fated, its like been lightning-striked! I do not believe in fate blindly, but I truly trust life is prearranged for all of us (but is alterable/adjusted based on ur karma/deeds), but to have him being delivered to me right on the moment of despair....its just too much/too perfect to be true.
Imagine you are at the alter to be sacrificed, with a knife at the base of your fragile neckline.....and right before the slayer gonna make his full swing....there he is...my knight in shining armour..beautiful/immaculately perfect beings....scooped me off to a neverland. See, how narrowly i missed the death penalty....and before I even have time to digest the new situation nor feel lucky that I'd been saved, I looked up to the face that scooped you up...with an unblinkable eyes...you stared and stared until the sunlight beamed on your iris, almost blinding you. But you do not want to let go of the new found sight....and you fought to keep your vision clear, to have him in full view. This is almost to the point of star struck, to be in between fantasy and reality. At least this is how i felt sometimes...and still feeling it still even after almost a year of being together. Well, we already lived-in together in less than a week after we first met, yeah this is how inseparatable we are. He still could not believe he could let go of his independence so easily, being defected without being aware of.
Sometimes, i do wondered if he will be like rainbow...so prefect, so rare.....that will just poofs away without you even realising it. This is one reason that sometimes I feel insecure to fall asleep at night. There are times, that I couldn't sleep well when he is beside me, as i will just stared at his sleeping face...wanting to hold on to the sight, before he poofs away like the rainbow. That is also why i think i sleep better when he went outstation. Its like having a big box of treasures with you, which you felt not at ease as you will need to protect it from being robbed from you. Good that I could rest better nowadays....as maybe the feeling of belonging felt stronger...thus the trust/security that he is not a temporary rainbow started to materialised. Just like how you knew your adult dog will always run back to you, while the newly purchased puppy won't...a bad metaphor but nevertheless a good one to describe my feeling.
My brother almost coming out from the airport so i would make a stop here. I will try to sneak in more time to update this blog, to ink-ing our love story...which i have a strong feeling that will be my ultimate great love!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Old Lotus Root incident@9thApr2011
Was supposed to be a very happy day for me, as my bf supposed to come back from
outstation trip for the weekend. Everything is good for the day, from picking him at his office to have the ever tasty chiu zhau porridge at Cheras. With each of us having one whole big bowl of salted vegetable, well..even the server stare at us for ordering 2 plates (they just never know how much we both love salted thing). After the hearty meal, we proceed to leisure mall for window shopping. I got some ribbon for my craft thing, just started a mini decoration for
home recently (spear-headed by macy's recent sale). After that we walk abit and later go home. Get my clothing out form the dryer, and we rest a bit until dinner time. After a quick reservation for kampachi buffet@ equatorial bangi, we started preparing and have a satifying meal which ended up feeling tortured at the end. Weird as I don't feel as satisfy....but my tummy is super super bloated. We both agreed that the japanese buffet at Palace of Golden horses are
much more better..but I always been told that Kampachi is amongst the best...well..not anymore maybe.
We left early...about 9pm as we both are extremely....Enough!! I don't feel like I eaten a lots but my stomach space just not cooperating with me this time. What a let down. In between, Young went into toilet once for the longest time. Initially i thought he is having stomach ache again......but later I found out he is not (claimed that waiting for cleaning session which is so unlikely...as he is not those who will wait around....just my guess here as only later I found out this piece of info). How??? After we come back from buffet dinner, we are so bloated and tired that we fell asleep very soon. Of course being me, i can't sleep properly before I taken my bath. So, waking up and feed Rocky, then proceed taking my relaxing shower. Meanwhile, he is sleeping soundly in another room. When going around in the room searching for my water bottle, his hp on the table lighted, indicating a call. I am so surprise he left his hp in ON mode,
and being noisy, I pick it up, but too bad its not a call...its a sms. To my surprise, it's from a gal name Celine Chiang..messaging him something like....miss u...good nite...have a sweet dream! WTF????? Wasn't those supposed to be my words?????
Of course being a good detective, I should check out what prompted that kinda reply from our ms Celine right? So, I search his outgoin sms, but there are nothing...I guess he set to not save on any msg he sent (not even the msg he sent me). Then I search his outgoing call, just a short list of few ppl, but his incoming call got gal names i never heard of...like lai kai ling, and Ax
something. And both of them call him yesterday! And he never mention about it to me! Well, we always share gossip info for fun....say some ex call him/which gal interested in him/etc. Not satisfy, then I go back to his msg, and as i scroll down...there are another msg from a gal name michelle, who inform him she is staying in jb now and her facebook account. What does this raises alarm??? Because my bf outstation venue is nearby Segamat, JB! I checked her facebook,
and ok..I admit her outlook a bit off....but still...why so many pointers here. I means .....I feel pissed now....and he is sleeping so soundly there. And he got all the time to spill these new info to me during lunch/dinner and the many small intimate talk just now....arggghh!! Should I wait for him to spill?? or ask him...confront him?I knew he will say....U r not supposed to go through my
thing....yeah right......I am doing that all along, and that is why i felt like loser now......like...such a idiot! I know, this Celine could be some ex.....but ....don't the timing of few gals at once call/msg is a bit weird?? And he like to pissed me off all the time, and telling me ppl still after him just gonna boost his ego, and piss me...so the question is why don't he tell me about all these calls and msg??? Even though I knew some guy I'd dinner once do sometimes just sms me outta the blue, asking for meet and asking me how am i,etc...but just feel not right this time. Why would he always put his phone in silent mode.....like most of the time. Life is not always cherry blossom i guess..sigh!
outstation trip for the weekend. Everything is good for the day, from picking him at his office to have the ever tasty chiu zhau porridge at Cheras. With each of us having one whole big bowl of salted vegetable, well..even the server stare at us for ordering 2 plates (they just never know how much we both love salted thing). After the hearty meal, we proceed to leisure mall for window shopping. I got some ribbon for my craft thing, just started a mini decoration for
home recently (spear-headed by macy's recent sale). After that we walk abit and later go home. Get my clothing out form the dryer, and we rest a bit until dinner time. After a quick reservation for kampachi buffet@ equatorial bangi, we started preparing and have a satifying meal which ended up feeling tortured at the end. Weird as I don't feel as satisfy....but my tummy is super super bloated. We both agreed that the japanese buffet at Palace of Golden horses are
much more better..but I always been told that Kampachi is amongst the best...well..not anymore maybe.
We left early...about 9pm as we both are extremely....Enough!! I don't feel like I eaten a lots but my stomach space just not cooperating with me this time. What a let down. In between, Young went into toilet once for the longest time. Initially i thought he is having stomach ache again......but later I found out he is not (claimed that waiting for cleaning session which is so unlikely...as he is not those who will wait around....just my guess here as only later I found out this piece of info). How??? After we come back from buffet dinner, we are so bloated and tired that we fell asleep very soon. Of course being me, i can't sleep properly before I taken my bath. So, waking up and feed Rocky, then proceed taking my relaxing shower. Meanwhile, he is sleeping soundly in another room. When going around in the room searching for my water bottle, his hp on the table lighted, indicating a call. I am so surprise he left his hp in ON mode,
and being noisy, I pick it up, but too bad its not a call...its a sms. To my surprise, it's from a gal name Celine Chiang..messaging him something like....miss u...good nite...have a sweet dream! WTF????? Wasn't those supposed to be my words?????
Of course being a good detective, I should check out what prompted that kinda reply from our ms Celine right? So, I search his outgoin sms, but there are nothing...I guess he set to not save on any msg he sent (not even the msg he sent me). Then I search his outgoing call, just a short list of few ppl, but his incoming call got gal names i never heard of...like lai kai ling, and Ax
something. And both of them call him yesterday! And he never mention about it to me! Well, we always share gossip info for fun....say some ex call him/which gal interested in him/etc. Not satisfy, then I go back to his msg, and as i scroll down...there are another msg from a gal name michelle, who inform him she is staying in jb now and her facebook account. What does this raises alarm??? Because my bf outstation venue is nearby Segamat, JB! I checked her facebook,
and ok..I admit her outlook a bit off....but still...why so many pointers here. I means .....I feel pissed now....and he is sleeping so soundly there. And he got all the time to spill these new info to me during lunch/dinner and the many small intimate talk just now....arggghh!! Should I wait for him to spill?? or ask him...confront him?I knew he will say....U r not supposed to go through my
thing....yeah right......I am doing that all along, and that is why i felt like loser now......like...such a idiot! I know, this Celine could be some ex.....but ....don't the timing of few gals at once call/msg is a bit weird?? And he like to pissed me off all the time, and telling me ppl still after him just gonna boost his ego, and piss me...so the question is why don't he tell me about all these calls and msg??? Even though I knew some guy I'd dinner once do sometimes just sms me outta the blue, asking for meet and asking me how am i,etc...but just feel not right this time. Why would he always put his phone in silent mode.....like most of the time. Life is not always cherry blossom i guess..sigh!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Mizi Shabu shabu @Bdr Puteri, Puchong
Been here for the 2nd time few weeks ago for my sis birthday, well an early bash anyway. The good thing about this personalised pot is, one don;t have to wait for everyone to arrive :) Well, my sis late like 30min, but we already got in and start eating happily!
This time, they are more generous with the thinly sliced pork serving. I remember back then, we had to basically waited for 30mins for them to bring in one new tray. Maybe most patrons that night wasn't at all too keen on the pork meat, so me and my bro just having great fun grabbing all the plates from the tray. Look at the simmering pot, less than 30mins, the soup on my pot tasted thick and flavourful enough. The only complaint is, for this buffer outlet, they don't serve the great "sha char" sauce. This sauce is kinda brownish, and imported from Taiwan..and only serve in their ala-carte branch, also located in Bandar Puteri.
The main differences between the two outlet is, buffet but limited choice and without the special sauce for about RM29, while the other more quality food with special sauce but cost minimum RM22 per pax for set menu and cheapest drink, without any add-on items. I loves their beef set, but additonal plate of beef slices is about rm8. Since the pork slices also tastes great, and unlimited....so my next visit still would be the buffet :P
If anyone having chance to go Taiwan, do visit the many hot-pot buffet shop. Much more cheaper than this one, plus they got ice cream and desserts. Oh my...I truly missed Taiwan. To choose, I would rather go Taiwan than Hong Kong, even though the public transpot in HK is much more sophisticated and well...systematic. Well...here i am, my mind drifted to him again at the mere mentioning of Taiwan. In my mind right now, I am imagining browsing the street in Taiwan with him...must be outta my mind. Sharon asked me to go Taiwan with her end of this month, well she got a great deal....about rm1300 with hotel, but my heart keep on saying..hang on...it will be more fun if you go with him instead. Duh! Like he is ever planning to go with you? Get a life! I think in his master plan, for the coming 2 years is to complete his CPA, and then moved on to another company to get experiences. I never heard him talk about vacationing and long break...so this is a guy who is much focused on his career path and not...leisurely wasting his time walking on small and winding Taiwan's street! So, this coming Matta please go get a deal to go have fun...with gf who willing to spend time with you, not another guy who only prioritised his achievement over you.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Is there love at first sight?
What would a girl consider as a good candidate for future life partner?
Long ago, that is only one thing in my mind, which determined if he is the one. The shining moment; the actual moment of locked eyes, the overwhelming feeling of sudden connection. I got that in my teen era, with Alvin, Richard, AMK. But when I probe deeper, it's just a crush at first, later on with the little things that they do, then only you'd have more touching gestures/memories which resulted in more connection. And having the most connections is Alvin, which maybe explained why he won my heart outta all of them. But, with him, the 1st locked eyes moment wasn't at all mesmerising (as compared to AMK/Richard). I remembered the moment I realised I am in love with this man is on the day I forgot the date with him, with him outside the cinema with his bunch of pals, and as I walked pass with my gf, our eyes locked for a moment, and even we are at a distance, I could felt the sorrows radiated from his eyes....across the street, I felt a sudden pain in my heart, feeling his sorrowful gazes, feeling his pain, and my heart is raining too...for this connection alone...my heart had been stolen for years to come....until he passed away. But his influence in my life doesn't end there, as my next 2 choices directly linked to him/caused by similarities with him.
So, was it not the 1st moment of locked eyes? It's actually any moment...happening after some courtship/certain memories of togetherness/some touching things he did for you.
There are a big leap in my connection with Young on Sunday, 23rd Aug '10. To be exact, it's 22nd past midnight, so it's really 23rd. We chatted over the phone for long, and with lotsa confessions. It's sweet, as for someone so level-headed like him, to spend time until 4.30am talking bs with a girl he have not even meet for real, and the next day he supposed to wake up early for one outstation trip. Sometimes, this irrelevant things etched into a girl's mind deeply. Well, maybe not just any man, just maybe the one the girl's held near her heart. Meet many men who will stayed up until wee hours daily, just to wait for me to come online. Meet also few who will marry me just after 1-2 months of deep chatting and after meeting me for one date (for the past 4 mth, 3 out of 3). But of course, after 1st date, it's the end for me as there are no magical 1st shining moment. Young told me he felt pressured as I told him about wanna to see his eyes...before commit into starting a relationship. He told me, it's so abstract, as it's not something he could do/work on to make it work. Yeah...cuz it will just be based solely on my intuition if there are connection/sparks. I dunno what it's with him, he always seems to make me listen to his reasoning, see his points and usually it's a valid one. Maybe that means, his down to earth and constant objective analysing abilities might be what pico prawn needed to come down the earth and not always in her idealised/dreamy state.
I do have doubts with him, as in both astrology fiels (chinese /western), we are not compatible. But what do i really know, all my ex is somewhat compatible with me, but what does that lead? Still does not last until eternity...so what is the point of just comparing reading estimated by some wise people in the past? But when I probed deeper, as I don't understand why we are so incompatible but we seems so good to each another. Why we are drawn together? Even from the 1st chat, though not exactly flowery one, but it's so natural...so open. Then I found out yesterday, that me and him, though ruled by two incompatible planet, but we both have special 2-planets ruled birth date. U see, in each zodiac, mostly ruled by one planet. Say majority cancerian will be ruled only by moon. But there are about 30days in each zodiac groups, and certain date might be ruled by 2 planets, hence not every cancerian are alike. This if taken with other combination like the many house affecting everyone born in different date and hours, this create a unique personality to each person. Back to him, we both shared the same ruler planet, the SUN. His, the aquarian typical ruler and sun, while me typical cancerian moon and also the sun. What brought us together is the sun ruler. That is why we could connect/able to mingle at ease. I do have other doubt, as he might not be so in-tune with the sensitivity needed to protect my heart, my fragile, sensitive heart. I guess what he sees is the tough exterior of mine, a strong and independant woman. But what I am also deep inside, its a child who needed protection and love. How do I shed my tough exterior for him to see the softer side of me, so we won't waste each other time, say if he discover it late, then only realising I am not the serious mature woman he been looking for? I tried to tell him that i m also a childish one, but how can I let him see my inner self when I just meet him for the first time, when my guard could only be down after knowing someone for long. How do I forced myself to shed the barrier instantly for a stranger? This is tricky, forcing a crab to remove the shell, exposing its soft flesh...to a stranger.
Maybe I should not be bothered too much...as i am the moon and the sun, and who else could have this soft n sunny combination with a kindred heart and smart and fastidious brain :P....should just let everything take its own course. If he couldn't see through the "always serious &mature" mode as boring, then I think we could not clicked well for long term as well. Being me, myself...should just show him instead of what a great child-like outlook could do to revitalised life....injecting curiosity and silliness into ritualised & typical life. Showing him what he's missed not knowing the special moon-sun ruled special creature named pico prawn :)
Long ago, that is only one thing in my mind, which determined if he is the one. The shining moment; the actual moment of locked eyes, the overwhelming feeling of sudden connection. I got that in my teen era, with Alvin, Richard, AMK. But when I probe deeper, it's just a crush at first, later on with the little things that they do, then only you'd have more touching gestures/memories which resulted in more connection. And having the most connections is Alvin, which maybe explained why he won my heart outta all of them. But, with him, the 1st locked eyes moment wasn't at all mesmerising (as compared to AMK/Richard). I remembered the moment I realised I am in love with this man is on the day I forgot the date with him, with him outside the cinema with his bunch of pals, and as I walked pass with my gf, our eyes locked for a moment, and even we are at a distance, I could felt the sorrows radiated from his eyes....across the street, I felt a sudden pain in my heart, feeling his sorrowful gazes, feeling his pain, and my heart is raining too...for this connection alone...my heart had been stolen for years to come....until he passed away. But his influence in my life doesn't end there, as my next 2 choices directly linked to him/caused by similarities with him.
So, was it not the 1st moment of locked eyes? It's actually any moment...happening after some courtship/certain memories of togetherness/some touching things he did for you.
There are a big leap in my connection with Young on Sunday, 23rd Aug '10. To be exact, it's 22nd past midnight, so it's really 23rd. We chatted over the phone for long, and with lotsa confessions. It's sweet, as for someone so level-headed like him, to spend time until 4.30am talking bs with a girl he have not even meet for real, and the next day he supposed to wake up early for one outstation trip. Sometimes, this irrelevant things etched into a girl's mind deeply. Well, maybe not just any man, just maybe the one the girl's held near her heart. Meet many men who will stayed up until wee hours daily, just to wait for me to come online. Meet also few who will marry me just after 1-2 months of deep chatting and after meeting me for one date (for the past 4 mth, 3 out of 3). But of course, after 1st date, it's the end for me as there are no magical 1st shining moment. Young told me he felt pressured as I told him about wanna to see his eyes...before commit into starting a relationship. He told me, it's so abstract, as it's not something he could do/work on to make it work. Yeah...cuz it will just be based solely on my intuition if there are connection/sparks. I dunno what it's with him, he always seems to make me listen to his reasoning, see his points and usually it's a valid one. Maybe that means, his down to earth and constant objective analysing abilities might be what pico prawn needed to come down the earth and not always in her idealised/dreamy state.
I do have doubts with him, as in both astrology fiels (chinese /western), we are not compatible. But what do i really know, all my ex is somewhat compatible with me, but what does that lead? Still does not last until eternity...so what is the point of just comparing reading estimated by some wise people in the past? But when I probed deeper, as I don't understand why we are so incompatible but we seems so good to each another. Why we are drawn together? Even from the 1st chat, though not exactly flowery one, but it's so natural...so open. Then I found out yesterday, that me and him, though ruled by two incompatible planet, but we both have special 2-planets ruled birth date. U see, in each zodiac, mostly ruled by one planet. Say majority cancerian will be ruled only by moon. But there are about 30days in each zodiac groups, and certain date might be ruled by 2 planets, hence not every cancerian are alike. This if taken with other combination like the many house affecting everyone born in different date and hours, this create a unique personality to each person. Back to him, we both shared the same ruler planet, the SUN. His, the aquarian typical ruler and sun, while me typical cancerian moon and also the sun. What brought us together is the sun ruler. That is why we could connect/able to mingle at ease. I do have other doubt, as he might not be so in-tune with the sensitivity needed to protect my heart, my fragile, sensitive heart. I guess what he sees is the tough exterior of mine, a strong and independant woman. But what I am also deep inside, its a child who needed protection and love. How do I shed my tough exterior for him to see the softer side of me, so we won't waste each other time, say if he discover it late, then only realising I am not the serious mature woman he been looking for? I tried to tell him that i m also a childish one, but how can I let him see my inner self when I just meet him for the first time, when my guard could only be down after knowing someone for long. How do I forced myself to shed the barrier instantly for a stranger? This is tricky, forcing a crab to remove the shell, exposing its soft flesh...to a stranger.
Maybe I should not be bothered too much...as i am the moon and the sun, and who else could have this soft n sunny combination with a kindred heart and smart and fastidious brain :P....should just let everything take its own course. If he couldn't see through the "always serious &mature" mode as boring, then I think we could not clicked well for long term as well. Being me, myself...should just show him instead of what a great child-like outlook could do to revitalised life....injecting curiosity and silliness into ritualised & typical life. Showing him what he's missed not knowing the special moon-sun ruled special creature named pico prawn :)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Merchong Young
God...the past few days I felt truly weird. I felt my attraction for him grew ten-fold while he is away to Merchong, and I haven't even meet him in person. Lets tell his story:
Just another nameless guy, until he send me his picture. My first thought was, ok..clean & decent looking, like guaiguai type and in the mail he sounded so well mannered. Afterward, we added each other in msn, but never ever chatted for like 1 month. I remembered seeing his online status countless time in between, but well, I never initiate any conversation. Besides, I a a bit occupied at those time. Up until one day, he suddenly say his infamous "hey" to me. And I remembered our first chat its about taiwan...well...being drag to this topic unexpectedly when he told me his mum is taiwanese. So, I proceed going on about what i like in taiwan, and it's fun to reminiscing! Actually, at that point, i am not sure if he remember who i was. i means has been a month or more since he first msg me, and he told me he got poor memory, so i am guessing here. Though most of the time, ppl remembered me...but I am just curious now as i am liking him now :P
The funny thing about liking someone is, you'd never think about the little things between you two is important up until the moment you realised you might like them in romantic sense of way. So, with the realization, you will try to re-call all the little thingy from the past, which supposed to add to your collections of thought and memories about this person. I knew from the first chat, he is pleased with the conversation that we'd. He always remind me how he likes to chat with me, and how good the session was. I dunno if he's trying to flatter me or he genuinely seldom have this kinda chat. Now i am wondering, what the hell that he talk to other gals about....I means I did not try to impress or anything with him, just talk about stuffs...whatever topic that being brought up either by him or me. For me, I just knew i felt good chatting with him as he sounded real, genuine, honest and truthful. Now, i truly interested to know what does other gals talk about with him....see...i am being possessive now..sigh. I am like..i wanna know what happen to him in the past and current. Wel, he kinda shared a bit on what he planned for his future. Actually, if i remembered clearly, he did shared many things with me. Little things that might not means much, but in a way...meant something. Let me list it down:
1.ask me how many children i planned to have
2.kinda suggested a plan for me like dating for 2 yrs then get married. the way and angled he blurted this out is like....or sound like...his plan with me. and at that instance, i felt warm and happy, not at all agitated. well, if most guys ever hinted on such thing with me, i am sure i would felt scared/wanna stay clear from them. but, with him I just felt ...difference.
3. hang out at his friend place near the place which he thought i stayed, but when i let him know my place is nearer to the other area, he is there hanging out with his friend very soon. Again, i felt warm and happy, not at all frightened. If others, i think i might felt alarmed in a bad way.
Maybe i think too much. Or I am inducing this thought cuz i 'd been missing him since he went outstation for works. We had been chatted like nearly 1 month, but i am at the point of misery now. How come casual chat, become like daily fixation. Like gotto chat with daily, sometimes on the phone, and now missing him badly.
Just another nameless guy, until he send me his picture. My first thought was, ok..clean & decent looking, like guaiguai type and in the mail he sounded so well mannered. Afterward, we added each other in msn, but never ever chatted for like 1 month. I remembered seeing his online status countless time in between, but well, I never initiate any conversation. Besides, I a a bit occupied at those time. Up until one day, he suddenly say his infamous "hey" to me. And I remembered our first chat its about taiwan...well...being drag to this topic unexpectedly when he told me his mum is taiwanese. So, I proceed going on about what i like in taiwan, and it's fun to reminiscing! Actually, at that point, i am not sure if he remember who i was. i means has been a month or more since he first msg me, and he told me he got poor memory, so i am guessing here. Though most of the time, ppl remembered me...but I am just curious now as i am liking him now :P
The funny thing about liking someone is, you'd never think about the little things between you two is important up until the moment you realised you might like them in romantic sense of way. So, with the realization, you will try to re-call all the little thingy from the past, which supposed to add to your collections of thought and memories about this person. I knew from the first chat, he is pleased with the conversation that we'd. He always remind me how he likes to chat with me, and how good the session was. I dunno if he's trying to flatter me or he genuinely seldom have this kinda chat. Now i am wondering, what the hell that he talk to other gals about....I means I did not try to impress or anything with him, just talk about stuffs...whatever topic that being brought up either by him or me. For me, I just knew i felt good chatting with him as he sounded real, genuine, honest and truthful. Now, i truly interested to know what does other gals talk about with him....see...i am being possessive now..sigh. I am like..i wanna know what happen to him in the past and current. Wel, he kinda shared a bit on what he planned for his future. Actually, if i remembered clearly, he did shared many things with me. Little things that might not means much, but in a way...meant something. Let me list it down:
1.ask me how many children i planned to have
2.kinda suggested a plan for me like dating for 2 yrs then get married. the way and angled he blurted this out is like....or sound like...his plan with me. and at that instance, i felt warm and happy, not at all agitated. well, if most guys ever hinted on such thing with me, i am sure i would felt scared/wanna stay clear from them. but, with him I just felt ...difference.
3. hang out at his friend place near the place which he thought i stayed, but when i let him know my place is nearer to the other area, he is there hanging out with his friend very soon. Again, i felt warm and happy, not at all frightened. If others, i think i might felt alarmed in a bad way.
Maybe i think too much. Or I am inducing this thought cuz i 'd been missing him since he went outstation for works. We had been chatted like nearly 1 month, but i am at the point of misery now. How come casual chat, become like daily fixation. Like gotto chat with daily, sometimes on the phone, and now missing him badly.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Near fatal incident on 13th Aug 2010 @2am
I'd a very hectic day, waken up at 6.30am and drove a car full of crews to Pekan, Pahang. An urgent order for a buka puasa dinner by our PM Najib for his fellow kampung. Anyhow, reached there before 10am despite the hectic morning jamming through Cheras & MRR2. After that, I thought i could blazed through the highway, but the rains started falling heavily along Genting-Temerloh. So my plan to reach there in 2 hrs failed miserably. Anyhow, the stretch from Kuantan to Pekan is much better than last year. The tiny 2 way road has been extended to 2 lanes per way, but its only half-way completed. Maybe by next year it will be done! One thing which pissed me off its the usage of expensive streetlight (aka PUTRAJAYA type). My colleague commented how many percentage of tourists will visit Pekan to justified for the amount spend on streetlight....well..I think we all knew very well that its not meant for tourist or promoting tourism.
Once reached site, works non stop, since not much works had been done yet by the initial crew group. I am surprised, but with aching tummy (well and mild diarhea) and hang on until ..well...until near 11pm. Luckily the pain stop right after tea time, so I only suffered for half a day. By night fall, everyone complained for tiredness, but i just need to to finish a bit more, and by 10 plus i am quite satisfied with the jobs completed, and make-sure the next day finishing touches will not jeopardise the event start-up time. With that arrangement done, I treated them to makan nearby as everyone including myself has growling tummy already. After that, we left separate ways; me to KL, them back to hotel/motel...yeah...pekan its that terrible in accommodation but well..with super expensive useless streetlight.
Along the way back, its fun! I sang happily, blazing through the silence and clear street, up until after Temerloh, rains started. tik tok tiktok....then heavier..sigh, gotto slow down, because parts fo the highway here is pitch black, no expensive nor cheap streetlight. Its still fine, up until near the sloppy-steep tight S-pin shaped road. I had already slow down to 60kmh, and i was negotiating the turn cautiously. But somehow, when i am following one right curved turn, midway, the car just turned left. But my steering its still on the right side. i am stunned for like few sec, and as the left turning almost brought the car to the edge of the hill, I just quickly turned the steering furiously to the right to counteract the effects. Whats follows is weirder, Even when i stop turning, the car then switch direction to the right now, then i just used back the tactic, keep counteracting the direction, for like 5-6 times, then the car only come to a stop. Bear in mind i already lifted my leg from both pedals, as break pad is also not doing anything to stop the car when it first go crazy. After the full stop, i realised i m still at a very dangerous road, as any upcoming car will not be able to spot me due to the near U-pin shape of most turns. I quickly press the accelerator lightly, to start moving. Truly slow, as i thought my car got problems, but as i go one further, i realised the car is functioning alright. Brake and everything working just fine. I also tried to reach both accelerator n break pad at the same time..well just to test if i could accidently step into both previously. But, no matter how i position my foot, i could not be possibly hitting them together. my foot is a size 5.5, so unless i do a horizontal press..which is unlikely, cuz my body will be turned uncomfortably to exert enough pressure to step on both. Suddenly, it just hit me that my sis birthday is just last week. And her birthday is close to ghost-month in chinese calender. I just realised that that night could overlap with ghost month already..well very likely. Thus, a slight fear seep into my heart...but i pretend nothing and keep dricing slowly, and chanting buddhism prayer. No more radio/cd/singing for me for the rest of the journey home. I am too excited with the adrenalin rushing in every corner of my vessels by then. Up until i reach Genting sempah @McD, then I am able to cool down, and drive a bit faster than the 40-60kmh...i could go 80kmh by then. Then by the time I reach MRR2, i could go 100-120 again. after I drop off some equipment at store, on the way back home, I could resume my normal speed and even started to sing again. I guess I am ok or the fear has subsided. Its such a terrible feeling being scared and alone, but when i reach home and prepare meal for Rocky, everything seems like back to normal...to my safety nest. And i am indeed felt blessful, as this is another closed call...my 2nd closed call. I guess if i have him at home at that time, i would have rush in and hug him. Just to have a strong shoulder to lean on, someone to stroke my hair and tell me everything is alright. And i would nuzzled into his warm chest feeling safer than i was then. Anyway, i felt safe now and that is all that matters. I could've called him and tell him, and i guess he would come to comfort this little kitten, but i am just too sensible to do such things. i could rush this, but i choose not to. As i keep reminding myself to go slow...and slower to enjoy the feeling..the longing...but what is i lost my life that night...then it would all be nothing. Well, maybe its fated when it really are. So, i just gotto trust if he is mine, then everything will just turn out the ways it should be...even not this life...there will be next. missing him already...what a feeling!
Once reached site, works non stop, since not much works had been done yet by the initial crew group. I am surprised, but with aching tummy (well and mild diarhea) and hang on until ..well...until near 11pm. Luckily the pain stop right after tea time, so I only suffered for half a day. By night fall, everyone complained for tiredness, but i just need to to finish a bit more, and by 10 plus i am quite satisfied with the jobs completed, and make-sure the next day finishing touches will not jeopardise the event start-up time. With that arrangement done, I treated them to makan nearby as everyone including myself has growling tummy already. After that, we left separate ways; me to KL, them back to hotel/motel...yeah...pekan its that terrible in accommodation but well..with super expensive useless streetlight.
Along the way back, its fun! I sang happily, blazing through the silence and clear street, up until after Temerloh, rains started. tik tok tiktok....then heavier..sigh, gotto slow down, because parts fo the highway here is pitch black, no expensive nor cheap streetlight. Its still fine, up until near the sloppy-steep tight S-pin shaped road. I had already slow down to 60kmh, and i was negotiating the turn cautiously. But somehow, when i am following one right curved turn, midway, the car just turned left. But my steering its still on the right side. i am stunned for like few sec, and as the left turning almost brought the car to the edge of the hill, I just quickly turned the steering furiously to the right to counteract the effects. Whats follows is weirder, Even when i stop turning, the car then switch direction to the right now, then i just used back the tactic, keep counteracting the direction, for like 5-6 times, then the car only come to a stop. Bear in mind i already lifted my leg from both pedals, as break pad is also not doing anything to stop the car when it first go crazy. After the full stop, i realised i m still at a very dangerous road, as any upcoming car will not be able to spot me due to the near U-pin shape of most turns. I quickly press the accelerator lightly, to start moving. Truly slow, as i thought my car got problems, but as i go one further, i realised the car is functioning alright. Brake and everything working just fine. I also tried to reach both accelerator n break pad at the same time..well just to test if i could accidently step into both previously. But, no matter how i position my foot, i could not be possibly hitting them together. my foot is a size 5.5, so unless i do a horizontal press..which is unlikely, cuz my body will be turned uncomfortably to exert enough pressure to step on both. Suddenly, it just hit me that my sis birthday is just last week. And her birthday is close to ghost-month in chinese calender. I just realised that that night could overlap with ghost month already..well very likely. Thus, a slight fear seep into my heart...but i pretend nothing and keep dricing slowly, and chanting buddhism prayer. No more radio/cd/singing for me for the rest of the journey home. I am too excited with the adrenalin rushing in every corner of my vessels by then. Up until i reach Genting sempah @McD, then I am able to cool down, and drive a bit faster than the 40-60kmh...i could go 80kmh by then. Then by the time I reach MRR2, i could go 100-120 again. after I drop off some equipment at store, on the way back home, I could resume my normal speed and even started to sing again. I guess I am ok or the fear has subsided. Its such a terrible feeling being scared and alone, but when i reach home and prepare meal for Rocky, everything seems like back to normal...to my safety nest. And i am indeed felt blessful, as this is another closed call...my 2nd closed call. I guess if i have him at home at that time, i would have rush in and hug him. Just to have a strong shoulder to lean on, someone to stroke my hair and tell me everything is alright. And i would nuzzled into his warm chest feeling safer than i was then. Anyway, i felt safe now and that is all that matters. I could've called him and tell him, and i guess he would come to comfort this little kitten, but i am just too sensible to do such things. i could rush this, but i choose not to. As i keep reminding myself to go slow...and slower to enjoy the feeling..the longing...but what is i lost my life that night...then it would all be nothing. Well, maybe its fated when it really are. So, i just gotto trust if he is mine, then everything will just turn out the ways it should be...even not this life...there will be next. missing him already...what a feeling!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Simply Dating
Last week, I went to 2 dates on Saturday night. Firstly for a 8.30pm dinner at Empire Galleria Subang, while the 2nd one is for a midnight movie date at Jusco Cheras Selatan. I was reserving my slots for a date with a special someone, but too bad he wasn't free..or maybe wasn't even slightly interested. So, with a bruised self-esteem and with two invitations come in at the right time...then i just go on with it. I did not just accept any invitation but these two guys had been chatting with me online for a few months, always asking me out so for me its like finally re-paying their patience.
I wasn't at all excited, for well....my interest could only focus on one person at one time in romantic arena, so since my current focus is on that special someone..so anyone else will be like part of the crews....never the main cast. I know to be single and looking for a partner should not have this kind of mindset...should be meeting with everyone new with open heart...no pre-judgement or pre-set ideals. Maybe I should not even be dating at all, for I think he has seriously creeping into my veins..and already surrounding my perimeter of my heart. How do I know that? I am disappointed when he couldn't make it for our first coffee date, and missing him everyday, dreaming of him, digging into his past through facebook, his ex....and well...i found out he still cast her in his new mv production..so there..HOW COULD IT BE NOTHING? i means for both my feeling and he&his ex relationship. I know..I am certified having a crush on him...and he is definitely still or might hold a torch for her. Normally this doesn't matter to me but well..maybe my moon-ruled (well, i got 2 personal ruler planets...one is sun the other is moon...so i appear like very sunny but sometimes i am typical cancerian) self-doubt is creeping in as well. Picture this...she: younger than me 7-8 yrs, waify girly with soft voice type, into pageantry stuff by 20 yrs old and profession as flight attendant (so gear toward one type of girls, won't be overly opinionated, overly stubborn, overly independant, bad-tempered like myself). Why is the last point important? Well, the man involved here is a very opinionated, and a born director...so...I personally think she would be the best match as not much arguments..not much conflicts. The main problem might be the money issues....since she was those typical northern girl type...so I does wonder if the reason for their breakup is due to this reason...ok..that is me ..crossing the lines, imagining a storylines again. His hectic schedules does cross my mind but the fact that she would be on a plane most of the time, so this shouldnt be a problem...until yeah...a better prospect man come into the picture. Well, he was just a middle working class....and no matter how good his works came out...he could never be as rich as a businessman...not even like the corporate management level. So, I am basically speculating the cause of their break up again :P Anyway, it might be due to his flirting nature....the many talents he meet daily would be like a seduction..and sometimes..his guardrail failed. It happen....omg I am supposed to talk about my dates...ok back to the title stories.
First date is with a self-employed man. From Penang, but stay in KL for the past 10 yrs. Older than me like 9-10 years..but still in good condition. Look like 30s, tall and skinny, medium skin tones, super small eyes, a graduate from US but he was make into it, not born to be like one. Well, what i meant is ....you would see many chinese families throwing their childrens oversea just for the sake of having an oversea grad, but there are things which will not change no matter how long you put someone somewhere. Its not about money or outlook or social standing. Its about who one is...or destined to be. the easiest is the chinese proverb "even when one wear king's dragon robes, he still doesn't look like a king". I don't means to bad-mounted him, but he is always criticised everyone online...like why i used short form english during chatting online....why add malays into it, why add chinese words also, why so rojak? Stress on proper english usage, etc, but in real....his spoken english even funnier than my brother and his table manners is just terrible...well we are having at Italianis. Well, I insist on paying for the meal with the reason, well, i reach about 45min late! but the real reason is i do not want to see him ever again..and I do not like owing ppl thing, especially someone like him. He asked to walk me to my car, but i just say I know my way well....then he calls subsequent day, but i did not answer. Then this snaky person use other number to call my cell during work day...so i must answer right..as it could be new client, etc. Then he got the ball to asked me why i did not answer his call, i told him busy. then he say got one business contact to give me, as his client is looking to held a conference here, but i told him i am not interested as the margin of profit is not much from conference...to which he say his client is a public listed company...omg....at that point, I am truly pissed. why couldn't he un...i do not want anything associated with u! i think i am mean in this case, though he is truly not-pleasant person, but i think i shouldn't sound so cold on the phone...but i just wish and wish...that i never ever give him my number. so this is truly bad experience for me..for i can't even finish my carbonara...well...now i know what they means by unpleasant companion.
The 2nd movie date is much more better. This is a 28 years old guy, car salesman, into go-kart, sports and car drift. tall, fair, pleasant looking, funny but well...not my cup of tea :P but never the less, I had a great time. The movie we watched is predator, to which we missed the first 15mins because i m late ..again..yeah....from subang to cheras...got road block by police officer everywhere..well..near raya so...malaysian would know what that means! he tried to joked numerous time throughout the movie, then later we go to nearby stall for drinks. Chatted until everyone left 3 tables and the mosquito won't quit biting me. i laughed more genuiny with him, well...his jokes and topics much more interesting than the 1st one :P Anyhow, he sms and call me almost daily afterward, and i am pissed again (again, i only wants to be bother by someone i m interested in). So, i seldom reply, and did not answer his call....just told him i was busy. i feel like a bastard but....i truly don;t want to waste anyone time...theirs nor mine!
The search continue....for my soulmate!
I wasn't at all excited, for well....my interest could only focus on one person at one time in romantic arena, so since my current focus is on that special someone..so anyone else will be like part of the crews....never the main cast. I know to be single and looking for a partner should not have this kind of mindset...should be meeting with everyone new with open heart...no pre-judgement or pre-set ideals. Maybe I should not even be dating at all, for I think he has seriously creeping into my veins..and already surrounding my perimeter of my heart. How do I know that? I am disappointed when he couldn't make it for our first coffee date, and missing him everyday, dreaming of him, digging into his past through facebook, his ex....and well...i found out he still cast her in his new mv production..so there..HOW COULD IT BE NOTHING? i means for both my feeling and he&his ex relationship. I know..I am certified having a crush on him...and he is definitely still or might hold a torch for her. Normally this doesn't matter to me but well..maybe my moon-ruled (well, i got 2 personal ruler planets...one is sun the other is moon...so i appear like very sunny but sometimes i am typical cancerian) self-doubt is creeping in as well. Picture this...she: younger than me 7-8 yrs, waify girly with soft voice type, into pageantry stuff by 20 yrs old and profession as flight attendant (so gear toward one type of girls, won't be overly opinionated, overly stubborn, overly independant, bad-tempered like myself). Why is the last point important? Well, the man involved here is a very opinionated, and a born director...so...I personally think she would be the best match as not much arguments..not much conflicts. The main problem might be the money issues....since she was those typical northern girl type...so I does wonder if the reason for their breakup is due to this reason...ok..that is me ..crossing the lines, imagining a storylines again. His hectic schedules does cross my mind but the fact that she would be on a plane most of the time, so this shouldnt be a problem...until yeah...a better prospect man come into the picture. Well, he was just a middle working class....and no matter how good his works came out...he could never be as rich as a businessman...not even like the corporate management level. So, I am basically speculating the cause of their break up again :P Anyway, it might be due to his flirting nature....the many talents he meet daily would be like a seduction..and sometimes..his guardrail failed. It happen....omg I am supposed to talk about my dates...ok back to the title stories.
First date is with a self-employed man. From Penang, but stay in KL for the past 10 yrs. Older than me like 9-10 years..but still in good condition. Look like 30s, tall and skinny, medium skin tones, super small eyes, a graduate from US but he was make into it, not born to be like one. Well, what i meant is ....you would see many chinese families throwing their childrens oversea just for the sake of having an oversea grad, but there are things which will not change no matter how long you put someone somewhere. Its not about money or outlook or social standing. Its about who one is...or destined to be. the easiest is the chinese proverb "even when one wear king's dragon robes, he still doesn't look like a king". I don't means to bad-mounted him, but he is always criticised everyone online...like why i used short form english during chatting online....why add malays into it, why add chinese words also, why so rojak? Stress on proper english usage, etc, but in real....his spoken english even funnier than my brother and his table manners is just terrible...well we are having at Italianis. Well, I insist on paying for the meal with the reason, well, i reach about 45min late! but the real reason is i do not want to see him ever again..and I do not like owing ppl thing, especially someone like him. He asked to walk me to my car, but i just say I know my way well....then he calls subsequent day, but i did not answer. Then this snaky person use other number to call my cell during work day...so i must answer right..as it could be new client, etc. Then he got the ball to asked me why i did not answer his call, i told him busy. then he say got one business contact to give me, as his client is looking to held a conference here, but i told him i am not interested as the margin of profit is not much from conference...to which he say his client is a public listed company...omg....at that point, I am truly pissed. why couldn't he un...i do not want anything associated with u! i think i am mean in this case, though he is truly not-pleasant person, but i think i shouldn't sound so cold on the phone...but i just wish and wish...that i never ever give him my number. so this is truly bad experience for me..for i can't even finish my carbonara...well...now i know what they means by unpleasant companion.
The 2nd movie date is much more better. This is a 28 years old guy, car salesman, into go-kart, sports and car drift. tall, fair, pleasant looking, funny but well...not my cup of tea :P but never the less, I had a great time. The movie we watched is predator, to which we missed the first 15mins because i m late ..again..yeah....from subang to cheras...got road block by police officer everywhere..well..near raya so...malaysian would know what that means! he tried to joked numerous time throughout the movie, then later we go to nearby stall for drinks. Chatted until everyone left 3 tables and the mosquito won't quit biting me. i laughed more genuiny with him, well...his jokes and topics much more interesting than the 1st one :P Anyhow, he sms and call me almost daily afterward, and i am pissed again (again, i only wants to be bother by someone i m interested in). So, i seldom reply, and did not answer his call....just told him i was busy. i feel like a bastard but....i truly don;t want to waste anyone time...theirs nor mine!
The search continue....for my soulmate!
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